Part 1

Disclaimer: This Post is only one of many. This is a extremely long post. This is a ongoing story that started back in 2001 and continues down to the present day. I wasnt sure I wanted to post this, but I have to get this out. For the final time I will explain what happened since then. All the goods and bads. This is the story of my life for the past 4 years. Starting in 2001. Ill try to post a section of it every week because its so long. Here it goes, Enjoy :)

START:

Hello, my name is Robert K. Bell and I am from San Antonio, Texas. Im not a professional writer, Ive never really written a screenplay in my life. I write poetry and other thoughts I have, but none of it has been published (much to my own lack of effort) and I have probably have no qualifications whatsoever to make a movie. But I have a story. A true story, one that I think many after many can relate too. Its a story that seems already like a movie to me, because I lived it. Its a story about me loving a girl, and as of yet, me not being able to have her for my own. Its sad, its ironic and its truth. Like I said I dont know how to write this as a screenplay, maybe after I get this all out I will know. But I have to get it out, I have to let people know what Im feeling and what Ive been through for this girl, she is the most important girl to me. So here it goes, this is the true story of me and her.

A little about me. Im 24, have no parents, my mother died when I was 10. And my dad was an alcoholic and a smoker who was rarely around much. He died when I was 19 going on 20. I lived with my sister and my brother in law until I was 17 then I moved out with a friend (Matt) and we moved to Washington State. My older brother who is 3 years older had just got back from Puerto Vallarta, Mexico, (he was living with my uncle down there and helping with his restaurant) was living with my aunt. After a few months up north, Matt and myself ended up moving back, me to San Antonio, and him to Kerrville. Eventually we all shacked up again together (matt too) and lived together for a while. Then my sister and my brother in law got their own place and me, Kevin moved into a house with another friend Henry. Matt shortly moved in also. So there was 4 guys in the house, and this is pretty much where the story starts. Like I said I was working, everything was doing ok, I had the old little Mazda, I had a few credit cards that I was keeping up with, everything seemed pretty ok. The summer came and we used to hang out with our group of friends. We would all go out and have a good time, and we would go do things and do what young kids do. Then it started. The thing that has changed my life forever. Karah (my friend) had a visitor on the way. And no, she wasnt pregnant. She actually had a girl coming to stay with her and her family. She had never met this girl, none of us had, but because her family knew some friends in Mexico they recommended that she (the Mexican girl) stay with Karah and her family. So time went buy and she showed up. Karah invited us all over to watch a movie and eat so we could show this girl a good time and she could get to know us and vice versa. I met her. Her name was Gabriella, or Gaby for short. She was a knockout. Beautiful in any and every which way you could imagine. And I knew, I had no chance with this girl. I was fat, I was somewhat tall (about 5 11) and I was a dork. I had a personality though. People said I was funny and I guess just by acting like myself I made others laugh. And I enjoy doing that, even down to this day. Even if its at my expense. So I met her. Hi Im Robbie. She was quiet and didnt say much, maybe because she was shy, could be because she didnt speak much English, maybe she didnt speak English at all. But I didnt think much of it, I just acted myself and hung out with the group. That was in June or July of 2001. We went to a couple places and got to know her a little more, but other then that the converstation between me and her wasnt all that much. I was told she was going to be staying with karah and then her aunt too, who was living in San Antonio also. We hung out some more, not every day or anything, but a lot. She was quiet at sometimes, but slowly we started to get her to open up more. To be honest, I didnt think much of her. She had the looks, but she didnt really have the personality. At the time though, I didnt really care, I knew I stood no chance with this girl anyways, so I didnt even bother with trying to hook up or try to impress. Matt was saying how hot she was, and it was true, she did have looks like no other girl around. She definitely was a beautiful girl. But me, I was sort of intent on remaining single, I wasnt worried about getting together much. I had a short thing with karah a couple months before, and she made me realize that I wasnt near where I wanted and needed to be. So then one Sunday, we went to the meeting (church) and karah showed up with gaby, and yet another Mexican girl. She never ceased to amaze us guys either. Her name was Sully. She was in San Antonio, and somehow, even I dont know the whole story, but somehow got hooked up with Karah and met Gaby. She was originally from Mexico City, had jet black hair, shorter a little chubbier then Gaby, and a spitting image for Salma Hayek. My jaw hit the floor. And I guess I wasnt the only one. Matt had the same reaction. We went from no girls, to having two of the most beautiful women we had ever met right there in front of us. Pretty much begging for us to give them attention, and show them around town. We wasted no time doing that. We hung out with the group more, as it had got bigger all of a sudden. So a week or two went buy, and soon came time for a graduation party for our friend Mikey. He was going to have it at his house, outside on the back patio. He had hired a DJ to come play some music for dancing and everyone else was going to be sitting and talking in the back yard. So a lot of us met at our house. I was excited about Jennifer (at the time, like my best friend) meeting these new girls from Mexico. So Jennifer and some others came over (Jacob, Dasa, Chris) and then Karah showed up with the girls. Both looked completely beautiful, both in their own ways. Matt and me stood there with drooling, wishing for chance, that either one of these girls would like either one of us. We went to the party. We got the as the sun was going down, and we made our way to the back yard. The music was going, and the people were filing in. There was lots of food, and drinks for everyone that was there. As much as you wanted of either one. I didnt drink anything because I was sort of strict about my drinking, and back then I really wasnt the party animal. So I declined, I think I had half of a wine cooler, and gave the rest to matt. Well the night went on, quite a lot of people came and a lot of people were out dancing and drinking. Everything was going ok. I think I danced a song or two, and was sitting down on the chairs. I had been talking to karah and the girls, but not to much. Gaby was shy, she didnt say much, like I said, I didnt know if that was her personality or her feeling inadequate because of her English speaking ability. Either way, she didnt say much. Atleast not to me and matt. Sully was a different story. She was not shy, she was very outgoing and she seemed a little crazy. Crazy in a good way. Well I was sitting there, and somehow, beyond my control, Sully and I ended up sitting next to each other. We struck up a conversation, about our lives, about how we liked to travel and the places I had been and the places she wanted to go. She amazed me with her intelligence, her charm, and of course her face, which even though it was dark outside, I could see clearly. She wore glasses, Chanel glasses. We sat and talked, what seemed like forever to me, was probably only about an hour. I told her how my life had changed at a young age, and she said had similar experiences with her dad, and having to be independent when she was young. She thoroughly amazed me, and I was impressed by her. I left that conversation with my mind blown, I hadnt met a girl like this before. One that which such depth. But she reeled me back to reality by asking me to dance. Dance? Uh, I dont dance that much. Well not Spanish songs at least. I had a girlfriend in the past who had such a passion for dancing, she would to parties and dance the night away. I used to call them one big ricky martin video. But that video was now my reality, and it was all because of Sully. She practically forced me out on the dance floor (hehe), and we danced a Spanish song. I dont remember which one, part because I didnt understand the lyrics, part because I was paying attention to my feet, part because I was so excited that I was holding this girls hand. And she was close to me. Closer then she had ever been. Those minutes are a blur now, the excitement and unknowing feeling that was running thru my veins was like nothing else. That night seemed different somehow, I really cant pinpoint anything. The song finished and we sat back down. We continued talking and she even went so far at one point to put her hand on my knee. Now Id like to say, Im a reasonable man. I dont see myself as the kind of guy who jumps to conclusions about things that girls do. In the past I would have asked, why is a girl doing this? does this mean she likes me? but I learned the hard way in that, so I let it go. I didnt think much of it, I just figured she was one of those physical people, you know the type that is a little touch feely. Little did I know she is like that, but with people she does like. Well the night progressed and I made my rounds and said my hellos to everyone. After a while Karah and the girls left and I was there with the leftover folks. So I said my goodbyes and drove myself home. I was excited about what had happened, but I didnt want to jump to conclusions, I was going to play it cool, and act like it didnt effect me. So the next day me and matt were talking. He told me he hated me. Of course he was just joking, but he was jealous because Sully talked to me and even put her hand on my knee. I told him she was an awesome chick and that if I stood a chance with her, I would go for it. I mean who wouldnt have? So we went to the meeting and if I remember correctly Karah and the girls werent there that day. But the teasing showed up on time. Leah kept on, I was talking with Sully all night long, and probably flirting. She got me to dance, and Robbie would never dance Spanish music with anyone? What did she do? they all asked. I got the whistles and the oooooohhh sounds. I kind of enjoyed it though. If they thought I had a chance with Sully, then why wouldnt I? I told them, that I was going to get to know her and see what would happen. But not everyone was in on the teasing. Not everyone shared the same opinion. I dont remember how it happened, but someone shared her opinion with me. I dont even remember if I asked her, but she told me that I shouldnt go for Sully, but instead I should go or Gaby. She said Sully didnt like me, and that she was too mature for me. She said it would probably never work with Sully, because I acted to much like a child and I was too immature. She said she thought Gaby liked me anyways. I had thought (because Karah had told me) that Gaby had a boyfriend back in Mexico, so in the beginning that stopped any chance I thought I had. (which was slim to none). So I thought about it, and I decided to listen to her. She and Sully had become good friends, and I thought she knew what she was talking about. Sully was mature for her age, and compared to me, she did act more of an adult. So I decided to leave it at that. I chose not to pursue Sully. And that decision has haunted me since. Of all the decisions Ive been able to make, that one I believe would have altered my life the most. That one decision might have saved me so much heartbreak and time and money. So many things might have been different if I would have told that someone no. I liked Sully and I wanted to get to know her and see if we were compatible with each other. And if she didnt like it, than too bad. It was Sullys decision too, and that someone really didnt have anything to do with it. But thats all exactly what I didnt do. And it bothers me to this day. Not a day goes by that I dont regret that one decision. I dont like to regret things, because I feel that if you didnt make decisions that way you do, you wouldnt be the person you are today. But that decision I believe would have made me better than I am today. And I regret it, and I will regret it until I die.