I woke up Thursday morning, and laid there in the bed staring at the ceiling. I was able to forget the prior day’s events in my sleep, and for those hours I had peace. But as I was now awake, the thoughts came instantly back to my mind. The wondering why she hadn’t called, the reason why she fell asleep on what seemed to be the first and what should have been the happiest night of the trip. I laid there and thought, maybe I was overreacting? Maybe it wasn’t her fault. Maybe her mom had lied to Iliana. Maybe they had somehow found out that I was going to be in town, and wouldn’t let her go out, knowing she was going to meet me. It would be so easy for her mom to just tell Iliana that she was tired and was sleeping. Iliana wouldn’t question her mom. She would just kindly accept the explanation, even if it didn’t make much sense. I thought there, and came to one conclusion. I would wait. I would wait to hear from her first. When she was at work, she wasn’t under her parent’s control, so certainly she would call and let me know the truth. I pictured her telling me her parents had found out about me being there, they had already found out about our relationship somehow, so they probably found out about my trip also. I imagined her there in her room, looking out the window, wishing she could leave to meet us. All the while hearing her mom telling Iliana that she was asleep. Would her mom go that far to not let her see me? I thought and thought, coming up with every possible scenario that could apply. But again, I knew the only thing I could do was wait. So wait I did.
I waited hours, and still nothing. Iliana and I stayed there and talked, as the hours passed. We ate lunch and sat around the apartment, awaiting for the phone call which would provide the answer to all our questions. We waited for hours, not being able to leave the apartment, thinking that as soon as we would leave she would call. We thought about taking the cell phone again, but decided that we would just wait it out, she had to call. Right? After what she had put us through the night before, she had to call and explain what had happened. We watched tv, and Iliana showed me some of the pictures from Jaime’s wedding that she had taken. How funny I looked like back then, how young I looked. I thought I was thin when we met, but clearly I was much thinner now. Even Iliana told me when she saw me walking out of the airport security, she instantly knew I looked thinner. That made me feel good, that all the effort was worth it. There was results and they were clearly visible. She asked me what my exercise consisted of, and I explained to her how I almost ran 3 miles a day, 3 days a week. Iliana was very thin, but this being genetic, she ate like a cow, but seemed to never gain a pound. I explained to her how my clothes all fit me big now, and that I had bought some new ones for this trip. We talked about many things, many topics and subjects. Still the phone remained silent. And still I my questions remained unanswered.
I don’t remember what time it was, but I think it was probably around 4 PM that the phone rang. I let Iliana answer it with her spanish greeting, just in case it was someone else. But it wasn’t anyone else. It was her. Iliana motioned me over to the phone and handed me the receiver. As I put it to my ear, I once again said “hello.” Once again I heard that voice, the voice I had longed to hear for so long. “Hey, it’s me again.” she said. Before I could even get a word out, she started apologizing. She said that she had a hard day yesterday and when she got home, she decided to take a quick nap. The quick nap that had turned into a multi-hour slumber. She apologized over and over, saying that when she did wake up, her mom had told her that Iliana had called. She said she felt bad, and that she still really wanted to see me. I asked her about her about tonight, that maybe we could meet up for dinner or coffee or something. Anything! She was silent for a second as if in thought, and then said “I can’t, not tonight.” She said she was going to be working late, and then after work had somethings to do with her mom. She said that we couldn’t meet up that night because her mom was going to be around the entire time. I said a confused “ok” as I nodded my head. “I will call you tomorrow for sure, and we can do something tomorrow for sure.” she said in a hurried voice. She then said she had to go because she couldn’t be on the phone for very long at work. I said my goodbye and that was it. I hung up the phone, with a even more confused look on my face. Iliana noticed and asked me what explanation she had told me. “She said she was asleep.” I said to Iliana. She too just stood there with a confused expression. “So what about tonight then? Are we going to meet up to do something?” Iliana asked. I explained the answer I had got from Gaby, that she was just too busy tonight. Too busy to see me? I had flown thousand of miles to see her, and she was too busy to see me? And on top of that, when she called it seemed like she was rushing, as if trying to not caught for talking to me. I just didn’t understand it? Had something changed? Could she have changed her mind in a matter of 2 days? In the email I read in Vallarta she seemed like she was ecstatic to see me, and when we had talked the day before she once again sounded just the same, to know that we would soon be together. And now this? She was too busy to see me? I wondered if there was more to this story, once again if her parents were somehow controlling her, making her go with her mom and keeping her busy, that way she wouldn’t have time for me. Could parents actually do this? I thought and thought once again, wondering why? As more hours passed, I sat there in disbelief once again. My head ached from the constant thoughts that bombarded it at once, like small daggers constantly plunging into it. I tried to justify it in my head, and somehow feel better about the situation. But it was not working. I had to do something. I had to feel some sort of relief, some sort of solace from all this confusion and stress. And as 6 PM came around Iliana asked me what I wanted to do for the evening, since we weren’t going to be doing anything with Gaby. I looked at her, and told her I wanted to go out. She said ok, I know some good restaurants and things like that. I said no, she hadn’t understood me. I wanted to go Out. I wanted to get rid of the confusion, the negative thoughts that had been planted in my mind and now were starting to slowly grow. I wanted to flush them all away, I wanted to erase the thoughts of the impending hurt. I wanted to just be numb to the thoughts, even it was only for tonight. I wanted to drink. I wanted to be like my dad that night, and drink away my problems and troubles. I wanted them to just disappear for the rest of the night. And so we went out, and I did just that.
Iliana had called her friend Linda, who I hadn’t met yet. Linda was a awesome girl, she had lived in the US, and spoke very clear English. You wouldn’t even have known she was originally from Mexico if she wouldn’t have told you. As we drove through the streets, she told me that she was going to take me to a “authentic” Mexican Cantina. And that was just fine with me. As long as they had some sort of alcoholic beverages, then I was ok with it. We drove and drove, until we finally pulled into a underground parking garage. As we made our way up to the street level, we walked into a very large plaza, with large what looked like governments building on each sides. We walked across the plaza and up one of the dark streets until we came upon one of the buildings. The building wasn’t marked, except for a sign that simply read “Cantina.” As we walked in I noticed the inside was very plain, no windows, and just the one door in the front. We walked in, and it was already busy. I looked around, and noticed that it was pretty much just one big room. The walls were bare, no pictures or neon beer signs adorning them. To the left was a full bar, stocked with any type of alcohol you could think of. The room wasn’t fancy, wasn’t glorious in any way, just a room with a bar, filled with small wooden tables and wooden chairs. I think I remember a tv in one of the corners, but other then that, it looked like a place out of the 1800's. The type of place that you see in the old western movies, where everyone turned and looked at you as you walked in. This place was not like the places in the states, this place was not a friendly bar that you would go for a casual drink and chat with co-workers after a day at the office. No, this place was the real thing. You went to this place for one reason, and one reason only. And that was to drink and get piss drunk. And that’s what I was there to do. As we sat down at our little wooden table, a guy came over and asked us in spanish what we wanted to drink. I thought to myself, what should I get? Another vodka tonic like I had in Vallarta? As I looked around the room, there seemed to be only men in there. Iliana and Linda being the only girls I could see. I looked around the room and noticed the drinks that the men were drinking, beer and what appeared to be tequila. I laughed to myself, vodka tonic? This night I felt like drinking, I felt like getting a buzz, so there was no room for a wussy vodka tonic. So I ordered a Corona to start it off. I downed that and ordered another. As the time passed I think I was on my fourth beer, when the guy came around with a bottle of Tequila. Tequila, the fastest way to where I wanted to be that night. So I ordered a shot, and much to my surprise so did Iliana. She and Linda had been drinking beer also, but at a much slower pace then me. But when Iliana matched my order for Tequila, I was surprised. The man put two shot glasses on the table and filled them up. Me and her said our “cheers” and both took the shots. I remember the tequila traveled down my throat, warming and burning all the way down. It was strong stuff. Even through the slight buzz that the beer had started I could tell how strong this tequila was. This was the stuff to get me where I wanted to be. I was going to stick with this stuff. I don’t remember just how many shots I had that night, but I do know that the shot glass wasn’t a regular shot glass. It was a tall shot glass, what most people call a double shot. In other words when you took a shot, in reality you were actually taking two. Like I said, I don’t remember how many of those I had, but I would say it was somewhere it was in the ballpark of 8 or 9. Which really was 16 to 18 shots of Tequila, on top of the 4 beers I had. Now I know what your thinking, how irresponsible and stupid! How could you be so dumb to drink so much? Well your right. I was dumb, I was being irresponsible, but at the time, I didn’t care. I wanted to feel better. I know there is probably a hundred of other healthy mature things I could have done to feel better, but that night I chose to drink. Drink to forget. And I did. That night I didn’t think about Gaby, I didn’t think about the situation that was unfolding. And even if I did, I don’t remember. I vaguely remember us walking out of the cantina and making our way across the plaza back to the car. Iliana was buzzing very bad, and myself, I was pretty much gone. Linda was ok, knowing that she was going to be the designated driver that night. So as I Linda drove us home, and the city light blurred by me, I remember her saying that we needed to eat something. She stopped at a small taco cart and each got us three tacos. As we ate the tacos in the car, I remember laughing for some reason. Whatever reason that was, I don’t know. I finished my tacos before Iliana, and as she ate, she sat in the backseat kicking the chair. She mumbled something about how her legs hurt, over and over she said this. Maybe that’s what made me laugh, but as she put her head out the car door, and helped the tacos she had just eaten “revisit” her mouth again, I stopped laughing. Linda helped her, as she let it all out. I put my head against the seat, and dazed off for a few minutes. I must have fell asleep, cause the next thing I remember was the car stopping and already being in front of Iliana’s apartment. Linda asked me if I was ok, and said a drunken “yeah, I’m fine.” I remember helping Iliana up the stairs, myself having a hard time walking up to the second floor. We got to the door and I asked Iliana for the keys. I got the keys from her and tried to focus on the lock, “Ok you can do this Robbie, just hold the key steady.” For some reason my hands naturally shake a lot, so having all the Tequila and beer didn’t help much. But after a while I opened the door and helped Iliana into the apartment. Everyone was already asleep, it being after midnight already. I tried to be very quiet, so as not to wake them. Iliana mumbled something about not wanting her mom to see her like this, all drunk and buzzed. So I tried to be at my quietest. As it ended up, Iliana did not end up sleeping with her aunt that night, but slept on the day bed in the living room. I slept in the same spot, on Iliana’s twin bed, again wearing all the nice clothes I had intended for Gaby to see. Once again I passed out, wrinkling my nicely ironed clothes. The night had gone the way I had intended. I had done what I set out to do. I had gotten drunk to the point where I didn’t remember. What a night it had been. Just another night in Mexico it seemed. Day 8 was in the books.
No comments:
Post a Comment