I remember waking up sometime Friday morning to screams. I rolled over and looked in my room, but it was empty. I heard the noise of the tv and Ivana (Iliana's niece) running and screaming. She must have been fighting with her brother or something. I lay there, my head buried in my pillow trying to drown out the noise coming from the other side of the doorway. I laid there for a little while longer, but still the noise continued. I decided it was time to get out of bed and start the day. But part of me didn't feel like it. Part of me, just wanted to lie there in bed, and fall back asleep. Sleep seemed to be the only way I could lose the thoughts that were in my head now. I tried to drown them with alcohol the night before, and for a few hours they disappeared, but now, now they were back. I couldn't escape them now.
As I got out of bed and made my way out of the room I could see the kids were watching tv, and Ivana was running around being the loud little kid that she was. I didn't see Iliana's mom or aunt, and her sister didn't seem to be there either. I looked for Iliana, and found her in her aunt's room lying on the bed. The door was open and I peeked my head in the bedroom. She was already awake, and just seemed to be lying there. I asked if she was ok, and she said yes, she was just resting. "Yeah, we had a long night last night." She agreed, certainly it was. Even longer then the nights we spent in Vallarta. We had got buzzed, but with the light stuff, with vodka and gin. Not Tequila. Last night we had hit the heavy stuff, and that morning it hit us. I didn't really feel sick, but I did have a bit of a headache now. And the day was only beginning.
I asked Iliana where her mom and aunt were and she said that they had went to the family ranch for the day. And they would be back the next day. Family ranch? Turns out her grandparents own some land some where between Guadalajara and Vallarta and they would visit them occasionally. I asked where her sister was, and she said she was at work but she would be back around 5 or 6. "Oh ok, so I guess we are the baby sitters until then huh?" Yup. We were. And honestly, I didn't mind. After the long night I just had, I didn't mind bumming around the apartment for the day. I wanted to relax a bit, and rest. Plus, Gaby had said she was going to call during the day, once again to make plans to go out that night. By now, I was starting to doubt that, but I was curious to see what would happen. Maybe she would call? Maybe we would go out? I honestly could not count her out. I mean it was Friday night after all. Who doesn't go out on Friday night? Certainly her parents were used to her going out with friends on Friday Night? So if she just left like she always did, we could meet up later. So I since I was going to be at the apartment all day, I would see what would develop. I remained positive, I fought the negativity head on.
I remember checking my email quickly so as not to tie up the phone line for too long. As I checked it, I remember seeing a email from Sully. As I read it, she told me that she hoped everything between Gaby and I was going good. She was glad that I was happy and that I was visiting and experiencing Mexico. She said that she wished I could have come to her city (Mexico City) because she could have toured me around and showed me many things there. The thought crossed my mind just then. I remember thinking to myself, you know what I should do? I should just go to see her. I should just leave right now and take a bus to Mexico City. Even if I got there late, I bet I could eat dinner with Sully and have a good time. She was so willing to show me her city, she would be excited to do all that for me. Her willingness to help, her kindness, just made her stand apart from everyone else. I remember when we would hang out, all of us back in San Antonio. All the good times we spent with her and everyone else. Like I said before, she was like the glue that held us altogether. She was a tough, strong girl. She had to be, coming from Mexico City. That was one thing I admired about her. From the first time I had met her, I admired that. Her people skills, her demeanor and how she carried herself. With such grace and dignity. I thought about it for a bit longer, even asking Iliana how long it would take me get to Mexico City. "About 8 hours" she told me. That was a long time. If I left now, I would probably get there around 7 or 8 and then we would go to dinner or something, and then I'd have to come back the next day. I thought about it quite hard, but I let the thoughts go. It was too soon, I didn't have the time. And I still didn't know about Gaby, I didn't want to leave and then her call to meet up. I replied to Sully's email and told her I thought about going to see her, but I couldn't. It was just too soon. Too short notice.
The day progressed along and we babysat the kids, watching movies and playing games. Then came lunch time. I didn't know what we were going to do to feed the kids, I thought maybe we can just go get them something. Iliana had said that there were leftovers in the fridge, and she would heat it up and make some tacos. You cook? I didn't think Iliana was much of a chef, but she proved me wrong, well sort of. I guess "heating" food is kind of like cooking? As I watched the food, she made tortillas, taking out the "maize" and making them into little tortillas. I watched as she put them on the "comal" and cooked them until they were hot and puffy. Once the cooking was finished we took it to the table and we all at lunch. Sitting there it almost felt surreal. Iliana and I and two kids eating lunch. Obviously the kids weren't ours, and we weren't even a couple, but for minute it seemed that way. For a moment, you could have mistaken us for a couple with their kids. For a split second we looked like a family. I thought about that for a while. There, in the apartment, we had made food for the kids, providing for them like parents do. We both had completely forgotten about ourselves, the only important part being that the kids had to eat. For a minute, I thought that must how it must feel to be married. Even married with children. The fact that you put yourself in second place, the fact that they depended on you to provide for them. I wasn't used to that, I was always used to just providing for myself and no one else. For a minute there I felt the reality of how it would be to be a family. To have a family of my own. As we finished lunch and we were taking the plates to the sink, I stared out the window. Iliana was in the kitchen also, cleaning up and putting away the rest of the "maize." "Funny, huh?" I said. "What is?" she replied. I explained to her how I felt, that this would be how it feels to be married, to be a team, to provide for you own. She agreed, she felt the same. I thought to myself, you know, this isn't so bad. Even though in reality it would be a hundred times harder, it would be much more stress filled, it still wasn't so bad. To live in Mexico, to live in a apartment, to be married, and even to have children. It wasn't the end of the world. It wasn't the worst thing that could happen. But it wasn’t going to happen. Not anytime soon anyways. For now, it was just me. Chasing Gaby, waiting on that phantom phone call.
I waited and waited as the hours continued to pass me by. Soon Iliana’s sister came home from work, and asked us how our day went. We told her we had made the kids lunch, and they watched movies and played games. She asked me what our plans for the night were, and Iliana told her we didn’t know yet. She told her that I was still waiting on Gaby’s call, but hadn’t gotten it yet. Her sister said some things in spanish, and appeared angry, which surprised me a bit. She then said something to the effect of “You should forget her! She hasn’t called you yet? She’s a stupid girl!” She said that if she ever met her or saw her on the street, she would beat her up for seemingly treating me so bad. She asked to see my wallet, as I had a photocopy of a picture of Gaby. As I handed her my wallet she pulled the picture of Gaby out and crumpled it into her hand. She then opened the front door and threw it over the balcony onto the street. “She’s no good for you” she said to me. I was surprised by all this, but in a weird way I was starting to agree.
That night we ended going to eat at Pizza Hut with another friend of Iliana’s name Araceli. She was a nice girl, a schoolmate of Iliana’s when she was attending the college there in Guadalajara. She didn’t speak much English like Linda did, but we still found a way to communicate. Pizza Hut was basically the same there in Mexico, and it felt good to eat some American food. We talked and joked, and after dinner walked around a few stores that were nearby. As the night continued and it started to get later, we decided it was time to turn in. We walked Araceli over to a bus stop where we could easily catch a taxi. We hailed her a taxi and said our goodbye’s, as she drove away. “She wanted to know if we want to go see a movie tomorrow” Iliana told me. “I think she kinda likes you.” I laughed and told her that was pretty much the last thing I needed right then, another girl to worry about. As I sat there at the bus stop, Iliana and I talked. I guess the situation was finally getting to me, and I was feeling more and more grim about it. I sat there with what must have been a huge frown on my face, because Iliana told me she couldn’t stand seeing me like this. She told me that she didn’t know why this girl hadn’t called, why it seemed that she didn’t want to see me? She couldn’t understand it, how it seemed like she didn’t even care, and well, neither could I. Had I done something wrong? Did I try too hard to see her? I thought to myself, that all this was soon going to be ending. I had one more full day in Guadalajara, the next day Saturday. Then Sunday morning I would be gone. I thought to myself how all this just seemed to be shattering in front of my very eyes. It seemed to be a sinking ship, right in front of my face, and I couldn’t do anything about it. I couldn’t even call her, for fear that her parents would make it even worse. I didn’t know what to do. The confusion, the stress, the anxiety. The very thought that maybe, maybe she didn’t want to see me. I couldn’t take it. I couldn’t stand the thought. How could a girl do that to a guy? After all I did for her? As I thought and Iliana tried to calm me and comfort me, a taxi finally pulled up. The taxi ride back to her apartment was a quiet one, with neither of us talking much. We arrived and made our way into the apartment, everyone being asleep now. Iliana and I went into her room, and she sat on the bed and me on the floor. I felt a bit better, and we talked more. Still neither of us could understand why? Why were things happening the way they were? That night we talked, I pulled out one of my notebooks filled with poetry and read some of the them to Iliana to get her input. It was nice to be with her, to have her as a friend, as someone who cared. I don’t honestly know what I would have done without Iliana there. She helped so much. The night was late, and soon we decided it was time to sleep. She wished me Goodnight and made her way to her aunt’s room as I shut the door behind her. I owed her more then she knew, her friendship I could never repay. I laid down on the bed, and sleep came quickly. One more full day left. Day 9 was in the books.
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