Part 11

The end of the year was approaching and it came to the point when I needed to pick a date to visit her. I looked at the Calendar, and searched for the perfect date. I wanted to go for a week, or maybe even more. I talked it over with my boss, and found that no one had requested days off in February. We had President’s Day off, which fell on February 17th. That year it was on a Sunday, so that meant they would give us Monday the 18th off to make up for it. I got to save a day of vacation because of this. That meant I could stay one more day on top of that. So I looked at many dates, and after much consideration, I decided on the dates. I would leave Thursday the 14th after work and arrive around 11 PM that night. Then I would leave Sunday the 24th. That gave me about 11 days there with her. I was so excited, I was so happy that soon, in a month or two I would be there with her. We would be together again.

The end of the year came and went without many events. The days seemed to fly by and soon I knew I would be seeing her. I was a seasoned regular at the gym, and I was seeing results. A month had passed since I had started, and I had lost about 10 or 12 lbs. My clothes were fitting bigger, my shirts seemed so roomy, and I felt so much lighter. My stomach was noticeably flatter, and my face was starting to change, from the round face to the more defined cheekbones. My double chin had reduced greatly, and all around I was feeling great. And I wasn’t finished. I was going to keep going, I wanted to be at my best for when I saw her. And now with the dates confirmed by the purchase of the ticket, I had my deadline. There was no way I was going to stop now, I was extremely determined to work out and diet up until the last day, just so I could shed that last pound. I remember going to Marshall’s and putting some clothes on lay away, because I wanted to only be wearing new quality clothes for when I saw her. I wanted it all to be perfect, I wanted to surprise her in every which way and fashion. I was getting ready for my moment of glory.

I was going to fly in to Guadalajara, and was going to be picked up by a friend (Iliana) I have known for many years, who also lives there in Guadalajara. I was excited to see her too, because I hadn’t seen her in many years. But we were just friends, and I had told her all about Gaby and how we seemed to just click while she was here in San Antonio. She thought it was great, and offered that if I wanted too, I could stay at her house, that way I wouldn’t have to pay the money for the hotel. I decided that was a good idea, that way I could at least have someone to show me around the city, or to help me and Gaby meet up at a location that they both knew. Guadalajara is a big city, and Gaby lived in a district or a suburb of the main city named Zapopan. Iliana lived closer into the city, so it wasn’t very close to where Gaby lived. Plus because I wouldn’t be able to call Gaby’s house, for fear the parents would answer and get suspicious, I had Iliana to call and help. She speaks both spanish (obviously) and near perfect English, so she was very much appreciated and needed. Things started to look on the up and up, I was feeling more and more optimistic. I should have known, I shouldn’t have been so happy, because it was the perfect time for something to go wrong.

I got the email while I was at work. We had been emailing everyday or every other day that she was available and all seemed well and calm. That’s when it hit the fan. She wrote me a somewhat medium sized email, and I could almost sense the caution in her words. Much like the way she spoke when we walked around her aunt’s neighborhood. Her words had changed from happy go lucky, whimsical sentences to foreboding short fragments, as if she was constantly looking over her back when she was writing it. The worse had happened. Her dad had found out about me. I don’t know if the aunt that lived here in San Antonio had told him (which was probably the case) or he stumbled across on of my emails, but she said that he knew. And he wasn’t very happy. She said that he asked who I was, and she had told him that I was a guy that she met while she was in San Antonio. I don’t know if she told him that she liked me, that we were practically going out, but I guess he was not a dumb father. He knew what I was before she ever told or didn’t tell him. I’m sure he just wanted to see what she would say I was. She said he didn’t say much (which from what she said, wasn’t a good thing) about the subject. She said she didn’t know if her mom knew, but she didn’t think so because her mom would have freaked. So she didn’t know what to do. She did know now though, that I the fact I was coming to visit her, had to be a complete secret. I couldn’t even be introduced to her parents as a friend now, because her dad would know better. When I went down there, I wouldn’t even get to meet her parents at all. Even she would have to be a bit sneaky, because they couldn’t know I was in town, or that she was going to see me. She stated that she was going on vacation to a little town on the beach with her family for the next two weeks and would be emailing for that time. She said she was going to try to talk to her dad, and convince him that I was the guy she liked and that it was a good thing for us to be together. She said she would be back in the middle of January, and she would email me back as soon as she got back. She said she wanted to be with me no matter what, and that her parents might come around once they got to know me and see the kind of guy I really was. And with that, the email finished. I would have to admit I was floored. I didn’t know what to think. I was kind of angry and confused at the same time. How could her parents make such a big deal about me? Why was it such a big deal if she liked someone on her own? Was that such a crime? I reread the email over and over, trying to make more and more sense of her words, but nothing more came. I would just have to wait for her to email me back, hopefully she could talk her dad into meeting me, or even accepting me as the guy that she liked. I was worried though, I kept my mind for jumping to the worst conclusion. I needed to just stay busy, and it would all work out.

While working out at the gym they would play the local rock station and I got accustomed to the latest songs. I remember Matt telling me about this great new album by Incubus. I hadn’t really paid much attention to Incubus in the past, listening off and on to their album “Make Yourself.” But this new album that came out a few months before, it was different. It had a beachy feel to it. Which I liked. So I gave it a listen. The name? “Morning View.” Matt recommended a song he had heard on the radio, he said that it kind of was perfect for what I was feeling at the time about Gaby. And he was right. The name of the song was “Wish You Were Here.” That’s exactly how I felt at the time. I wish she was here, I wish I had her next to me again. I listened to the words, and they all seemed to apply. He spoke about being on a beach, looking at the stars, feeling the wind on his face, and all the while thinking about that person you would want to share it with. From the writer’s own words, the explanation came:

'Wish You Were Here'. A simple and straightforward ditty about the beauty of a moment in paradise. And the desire to share that moment with someone of like mind..."

And how it fit. How I felt that same way. How I felt that my paradise was anywhere that she was by my side. Whether it be here in San Antonio, there in Guadalajara, or anywhere else in the world, that’s where I wanted to be, and I wanted her to share that with me. The song was perfect, it fit the situation perfectly. I downloaded it and listened to it, and soon went out and bought the whole album. The album turned out to be one of the biggest and best albums I had ever heard. Just the lyrics and music alone blew me away. I remember looking at the song listing on the album and noticing that one of the songs was even named “Mexico.” I was curious that this song would some how apply to my situation also and read up on the lyrics. But this song was in complete contrast. This song was a very sad, melancholy song. About how some relationship gone awry. The words echoed in my mind, how it seemed so sad. The lyrics:

You could see me reaching
So why couldn't you have
Met me halfway
You could see me bleeding
But you could not put
Pressure on the wound

I thought about the seriousness of the lyric. How this person had seemingly did him wrong! What would possess a person to write such lyrics? What pain he was going through to conjure up those words! Then he spoke more:

You could see me breathing
But you still kept
Your hand over my mouth
You could feel me seething
But you just turned
Your nose up in the air

And then the words that really stuck out in my head:

You only think about yourself
You only think about yourself
You'd better bend before I go
On the first train to Mexico

He had had enough. He was telling this person how selfish they had been. He had gave them an ultimatum, that unless they bend and change or he was leaving. He would be on the first train to Mexico. I was wondering if this had came from personal experience or if this was just a song that he wrote from someone else’s experience. Either way, what a powerful song, and such contrast from the happy, almost too optimistic “Wish You Were Here.” But either way, I loved them both, even though I obviously couldn’t identify with “Mexico” like I did “Wish You Were Here.” The album soon became one of my all time favorites, one of the highest honors in my music mind. The album would prove to mean so much more then I ever thought at the time.

I remember someone at work talking about wedding song’s, to which I said that I already knew what would be the perfect wedding song. It was an old Beatles song, one that would fit really any wedding/relationship. The song was “In My Life.” I explained that the song was very simple, pretty much stating that in his life he had met many people, and seen many places, all them being loved. But then he simply says that he loves that person more. More then all those people and places. It seemed so perfect, to say that to a person, that no matter what, you loved them more then anything else. When I actually think about it now, I remember I actually had told that to Gaby. That day when we went in Matt’s room to listen to music, and I was showing her my photos from our roadtrip, that was the reason why we went in his room. He had the song on his computer, and I wanted to play it for her. I had explained the meaning to her, just like I had to those who didn’t know it at work. That day I remember going to Circuit City, because talking about the song all morning made me want to own it. I figured I would just get a greatest hits by them or some other album that had that song on it. I remember buying the original recording of “Rubber Soul” because that was the only album they had with that song on it. I got back into my car and put the song on. I looked at the song listing and there it was, “In My Life” number 11. This kind of made me laugh, the irony! Now if you can’t figure out what the irony was, then you didn’t think like me back then. See, this was the song that me and Gaby had agreed on to be a great wedding song. Even possibly our future wedding song? That of course I wasn’t sure of. But it was number 11. This stood out in my mind because we had really hit it off in November, the 11th month of the year. Like I said I for some reasons always meet girls in November and December. So I laughed at the irony! Of any song, the one song that reminded me of Gaby, happened to be the number of the magical month we spent together. The month that I had looked forward too because of the camping, the same place that me and Gaby had our perfect day together. How it seemed to just fit so well! Almost like a movie! Maybe if the song was number 9 it wouldn’t have made me smile. I remember driving back to work, thinking to myself, that’s weird, it’s always like number 11 some reason? Why? I pulled up into my assigned parking spot on top of the garage and as I was parking I went a bit too far and hit the curb pretty hard. I got out to make sure the front of the car was ok, and as I was kneeled down I happened to look at my parking space number. Number 371. I had never really noticed before, usually just pulling up and getting out without a second thought, but this time it made me a bit surprised. I had the album in my hand as I backed away. Number 371. What was significant about number 371? Let me tell you. 3+7+1= 11. I checked my math in my head over a few times. This was just a coincidence, I knew it. How could this even be the slightest bit true? I laughed to myself for even thinking of the possibility that this “meant” something. I didn’t believe in signs, I didn’t believe in destiny, I didn’t believe that two people were star-crossed lovers. This would all be something to laugh at and say “whoa that’s pretty weird!” But I was curious. The coincidences made me look at other things. I looked at the Incubus album from a different angle, seeing if any of the track listing could some how fit into my little number game. “Wish You Were Here” was number 3. Number 3? What did could that possibly mean? The number 3 had no significance whatsoever! And the song “Mexico” it was number 7! Number 7 really didn’t have any significance! So my coincidental ironic number game had ended just as soon as it had started. I remember going at the grocery store one night I saw Karah there. I explained how funny it was to me how the number 11 had always seemed to come up, especially when it involved Gaby. She laughed and told me that I was just imagining things. She said that when your mind is looking for things like that, it usually will find them. And it was true. Before the Gaby, the number 11 was just an unimportant number, and even though November had been a great month, that’s all it was. No amount of cosmic love and power had been made. I agreed and laughed at my silly thoughts, how foolish! I guess I just wanted Me and Gaby to work so badly, and sometimes you look for “greater” reasons for that to happen. It was just my romantic side getting the better of me, trying to find some reason from the beyond, that Gaby and I made “sense” being together. It wasn’t enough that I liked her, and she like me. So I thought about it some more, and let it be. I gave up the dramatic movie romance, and settled for the real one I had a chance at. The numbers didn’t mean anything after all, the only thing that mattered was that I liked her and she liked me. That would dwarf any silly ironic game of numbers.